Or change your own presence and state in the disagreement. As Einstein said, "You can't solve a problem on the same level you created it."
So, here's what to do the next time you're in an argument with someone you love, even when you know you're right:
First off, see if you can get in touch with what you might be afraid of. (Underneath our anger, there's always some kind of fear.)
Acknowledge to your partner that you're afraid. When you go from saying what you're angry about to saying what you're scared about, it shifts the whole tone of the conversation.
Take a deep breath and say something like: "I'm afraid we're not going to get through this. Or I'm afraid you'll leave me."
Sometimes you don't know what the fear is about, so you can just say: "I'm afraid, and I don't know what I'm afraid about. "
When you say "I'm scared," it instantly creates a connection with your partner, and you're able to shift out of the argument just like that. And, THEN you have the opportunity to bring the conversation to a new, more loving and conscious level.
Thanks to Gay & Katie Hendricks for this wonderful advice on Conscious Partnering.
Namaste! Becca Chopra, author of The Chakra Diaries