I begin my days by stretching cat-like on my futon, toenails to fingernails, arching and undulating my spine, inviting my physical body to join my consciousness in greeting a new day ripe with opportunity. Once I arise from my rainbow-drenched mat, I ball my fears into a small soft, mentally biodegradable box and give it a hefty kick into the heavens. In the evenings, I repeat this fear-banishing exercise, using it as warm milk for my soul, its soporific effect smoothly easing me into a relaxed state so that I may begin my nightly visualizations.
At some point during the morning, usually after my first cup of green tea, I affirm to the Becca in the mirror that even though I take risks in both love and life, I give myself permission to fail (or perhaps to alter my thinking or attitude so that “failures” morph into positive learning experiences.) Just yesterday, one of my chakra workshop participants was wringing her hands and likening her lack of a physical love life to that of a nun. I chuckled at her purloined quote that “Men are like parking spaces, the good ones are either taken, or are too far away.”
One of the males in the group suggested that Ms. Frustrated first take a hard, honest look in her mirror and assess (even writing down what she is offering to the world), those qualities seen and unseen that might or might not be attracting potential mates into her life. He reminded her to be realistic, but not to sell herself short and remarked that, for instance, he was attracted to her intellect and humor but often put off by her critical comments lightly veiled as wit. I urged her to practice enhancing the attributes on her “alluring” list and to discard or re-purpose the unwanted, much as I figuratively boot mine away.
Another workshop attendee who lost her lover to the thrills and spills of life, creating her own “private hell on earth,” said that simple positive thinking had helped her endure. Instead of grinding her teeth and stomping her feet at the “overwhelming” frustrations and mental plaque built up from being a modern woman, Ms. Optimism had hung a carrot on a stick in her kitchen, reminding her to concentrate on the rewards at the end of her journey, and not the countless, arduous steps in between. She ended her tale and gave our hearts wings when she said to stay tuned – that she knew meaningful, lasting love was on the horizon even though she has not yet even seen the boat it is sailing on.
Good luck in love in the New Year. Namaste!
Becca Chopra, author of The Chakra Diaries