Relationship experts and Huna philosophers all think blame and criticism is the #1 reason why relationships fail. Most couples split up, family members stop talking or business partnerships fail because one or both of the parties gets tired of being blamed or criticized.

What is the best and quickest way to stop it?

When you're blaming someone, what you're really doing is pointing the finger at them and saying "Hah! It's your fault. You're wrong." Then, that person typically comes back and says, "No, it's your fault..." and this can go on in an endless loop.

To radically shift out of a blaming consciousness in 1 minute or less, try this tip from Gay & Katie Hendricks:

When you catch yourself starting to blame or you're having critical thoughts about your partner or colleague, make a pleasant "Hmmm...." sound. And what this does is it shifts you out of your "critical" brain into your "wonder" brain.

So, you can say to yourself, "Hmmm... I wonder what I could learn from this." Or "Hmmm... I wonder how I'm contributing to this situation."

When you do this from a place of sincere wonder, then an immediate change takes place in your connection with the person you were previously blaming or criticizing.

Try this the next time you have a critical thought, and watch real miracles open up in your relationships! And of course, work on keeping your heart chakra open to love and compassion - listen to my free Chakra Meditation at www.thechakras.org.
Namaste! Becca Chopra, author of The Chakra Diaries

When you're caught up in an argument with your partner, family member or colleague, typically, you're locked into anger and thinking you're right and the other person is wrong. If this happens often, work on balancing your solar plexus and heart chakras to be more confident and loving.

Or change your own presence and state in the disagreement. As Einstein said, "You can't solve a problem on the same level you created it."

So, here's what to do the next time you're in an argument with someone you love, even when you know you're right:

First off, see if you can get in touch with what you might be afraid of. (Underneath our anger, there's always some kind of fear.)

Acknowledge to your partner that you're afraid. When you go from saying what you're angry about to saying what you're scared about, it shifts the whole tone of the conversation.

Take a deep breath and say something like: "I'm afraid we're not going to get through this. Or I'm afraid you'll leave me."

Sometimes you don't know what the fear is about, so you can just say: "I'm afraid, and I don't know what I'm afraid about. "

When you say "I'm scared," it instantly creates a connection with your partner, and you're able to shift out of the argument just like that. And, THEN you have the opportunity to bring the conversation to a new, more loving and conscious level.

Thanks to Gay & Katie Hendricks for this wonderful advice on Conscious Partnering.
Namaste! Becca Chopra, author of The Chakra Diaries